The Ideas of "Sir" and "Ma'am"

Sir and Ma'am are two words that have been used for the longest time to address your elders and people of high esteem. However, for me, these words have been utterly ruined and so I abhor them with every fiber in my being. Perhaps it is the countless teachers and administrators who say the hated phrase,

"Yes, ma'am?"

in such a condescending tone, it causes an already irate child to become borderline explosive. It is understandable that most adults would expect this level of respect as it is how many of them were raised; however, it is wrong to attempt to push their views of such things upon other people's children. Recently, I had the fated words uttered to me, and seconds after I had replied as wanted, I desired strongly to bash my head into the nearest inanimate object.

Because of experiences like this, I have developed a rather different way of showing respect. It is quite difficult to pick up on, so I will explain it in full here.

Firstly, it should be noted that my family members are addresses as you'd expect. "Mom" for my mother, "Dad" for my father, "Grammy" for my grandmother and so on. Nobody else shall be addressed as such, not even my possible future spouse's family. My family holds my utmost respect at all times and the terms I use for them are common, but special all the same.

Secondly, there are those I address with the prefixes "Mr." and "Mrs." The people that I apply this prefix to are those generally old enough to be my parents at least and are teachers, coaches, and family friends. Though, just because I use the prefix, does not exclude the idea that I just might loathe you inside my head. There are some who have earned the title to their face, for fear of wrath from my parents or the school I attend. I in almost no way respect those people, and the "Mr." and "Mrs." are purely out of spite and tradition.

This is why it might be hard to discern who I truly respect and who I do not; though it is usually evident in my facial expressions as I've been told by many that I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

Those that I respect, I have no issues with using the proper prefix and enjoy doing so purely for the respect that I have for them. In particular, the people in question are very close family friends, nearly all my teachers, and my horse coach. I suppose I ought to come up with a better way of separating people, but I will touch on that later.

At any rate, there are those I address with their first name, and here it becomes even more complicated. For the record, I do address some adults by their first names. This might be for a few reasons. Some might be that perhaps they were in high school when I met them, and are now adults and I use their first name because of familiarity and habit. Another more common reason is that they are closer to my age (anywhere from 3-6 years older) or my age exactly. Essentially, those that are my peers. Another obvious reason would be if they are my sibling or first cousin, in which case a first name is very natural. The last reason, which is extremely complicated, is that I use two of my coaches' first names. I am not quite sure why. Perhaps it is because they are younger coaches, or I haven't had the time to get to know them enough, but it is so.

Now, my father has recently expressed his concern, so to speak, about my lack of using the words "sir" and "ma'am". I explained in as much detail as I could, but he does remain adamant that I use at least "ma'am" where my mother is concerned, if only to diffuse future potentially explosive situations.

My mother and I frequently argue, but I love her very much, but we clash more often than not on rather frivolous things. I am considering employing the use of "ma'am" in this situation. Hopefully, my disdain of the word will dwindle and I will be able to use the words when conversing with some people mentioned above that I have considered applying the use of the word(s) with but backed off due to pride/stubbornness (my dad says they are one and the same) and overall distaste of the words.

Hopefully, things will change in the future and my thoughts might be more clearly conveyed. To those reading this who know me, I apologize if you thought I wasn't respecting you properly and I do hope this article helped shed some light on the situation.